Personal Reflection, 
The founding of the St. Julie Billiart Parish Shawl Ministry

Cheryl Scallon
December 8, 2004 

I really love to knit. 

 I learned to knit when I was about 8 years old.  My Gramma Ella Arnold taught me to knit doll clothes.  My fondest memories of childhood are me and my Gramma walking to the “dime store” to purchase yarn.  We would then sit together for hours in her living room and I would snuggle up next to her while we talked, laughed, loved, and knit.  Gramma was always so warm and soft and comforting.  From the time I was a child, I have loved to knit intricate sweater patterns.  I really do not like knitting scarves and shawls as the patterns are repetitive and I find the repetition quite boring. 

In October, 2002, I reluctantly knit a shawl for myself to keep warm on my back porch where I spend hours each evening being challenged, yet comforted by my knitting.  Once the brown chenille shawl was “yawnfully”completed, I had to admit, it was warm, soft, and very comforting. It reminded me of Gramma. My Aunt Dorothy, age 83, LOVED my shawl. I really didn’t understand what was so great about my shawl; it was boring to make, not the greatest color, and after all, I have knit so many beautiful sweaters, why did she think this was so special? 

In October, 2003, as the temperatures were beginning to drop, I “dug out” my shawl, wrapped it around me and continued to knit away the evenings. I decided I could bear making one more shawl for Aunt Dorothy; after all, she was now 84 years old and Gramma Arnold’s daughter.  Maybe the shawl would bring her some warmth and comfort in a way in which Gramma comforted me.  And so, I knit another BORING shawl. This time though, it felt so different, so spiritual, so warm and comforting. This time, it was knit with love for a very special Aunt Dorothy. 

On November 4, 2003, shortly after completing Aunt Dorothy’s shawl, my life changed forever.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  No big deal, Gramma Arnold had breast cancer and lived for 20 plus years following diagnosis.  I always looked at breast cancer as to when it would happen, not if.  My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years prior and her other sister, Aunt Betty is a 5 year cancer survivor.  Gramma, my Mom and Aunt Betty all survived with mastectomies.  My Mom and Aunt Betty did not need follow up treatment. Gramma had radiation only, but that too became a knitting event for her and me.  We would ride the bus to the hospital together, come back home, and knit.  Now it was my turn to proudly embrace my genetics. Gramma may have passed along the breast cancer gene, but she had given me so many more blessings. 

On November 24, 2003, I had a partial mastectomy.  Ten days later, I found myself at the surgeon’s office with the good news that the cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes BUT…I needed to undergo both chemotherapy and radiation. I kept thinking, WHY? Gramma, Mom and Aunt Betty didn’t have to.  Well, my cancer was estrogen negative, an aggressive cancer which would not respond to hormone therapy. And so, the words oncology, chemotherapy and radiation became a part of my life forever. 

My first chemotherapy was administered on January 3, 2004.  I was very anxious and the chemicals were so cold as they made their way through my bloodstream. I kept thinking about wanting to go home and spend time on my back porch.  I had bought some knitting books to read not knowing how long my recovery would be.  Would I feel like knitting?  Would I want to read?  The whole experience was so surreal!    When I arrived at home, I didn’t feel ill. I really do not think I felt anything but cold.  I wrapped myself in my shawl. I kept thinking about how I felt surrounded by the prayers of my family and my fellow parishioners at St Julie Billiart’s Community in Tinley Park IL.  I lay down on the couch, wrapped in my shawl wondering when I would feel ill. I remember looking at the knitting books on the coffee table. One of the books I had purchased was entitled Knitting Into the Mystery.  This whole experience seemed like a mystery to me. 

On January 23, 2004, I was administered my second chemo. I was never so ill.  I remember looking up at my neighbor shoveling snow and thinking good-bye Pat, it was nice having you as my neighbor.  I felt at peace though, knowing I was surrounded by my shawl and by the prayers of my family, many friends and the parishioners of St. Julie’s.  

I stayed home from work for about 5 days to recover from this second round of chemo.  When I finally felt a little stronger, wrapped in my shawl, I picked up the book Knitting Into the Mystery and began to read.  Was I ever surprised when I discovered that the book was about knitting shawls to give away to people needing comfort and solace.  The authors stated that some of the reasons to give away a shawl were to those undergoing medical procedures or celebrating life’s joys.  How ironic! How beautifully spiritual! Here I was undergoing chemo, wrapped in my shawl, feeling surrounded by prayer and loving to knit. What was God telling me!! 

I had begun a sweater for myself with very soft yarn. It was a beautiful blue.  As I held it up to me, somehow it just wasn’t working out the way I had hoped.  As so I ripped out the sweater and was now left with this beautiful soft yarn from Patons Yarn Company.  The name of the yarn was “Divine;” the color was named “Halo Blue.”  Did I need a brick to hit me in my head??? 

Finally, the thought occurred to me that the yarn might make a nice shawl. But, if I made a shawl, who would I give it to?   Hoping that the Holy Spirit would guide me in my very own knitting mystery, I began to pray and knit a shawl with the halo blue Divine yarn.   The pattern was knit in threes; the threes being symbolic of our faith: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  I was surprised at how calming it was to pray while knitting.  And so I knit, prayed and obsessed 

about giving away the shawl.  My focus of giving away the shawl and not knowing who would receive it took over and finally I set aside the half completed shawl. 

The fourth and last prescribed chemotherapy treatment was completed on March 5, 2004.  It was very surprising that I did not feel ill at all.  I remember thinking, was it possible they forgot to put the A/C drugs into the IV? Then I remembered and trusted; God designed this journey of cancer and its treatment for me and I thanked Him for choosing me.  

Within a few weeks, the next phase of treatment began, 33 radiation sessions, five days per week for six weeks.  My hair began to grow by the end of March.  I met so many nice people receiving radiation, so many people who were incredibly sick.  I found such pleasure in bringing joy to those people by laughing, telling silly stories, and taking off my wig to show off the red fuzz growing rapidly on my head.  Every day I thanked God for this journey, for the blessing He had given me through my friends, my family, my faith and these very precious, very sick people. 

On May 7, 2004, Mother’s Day weekend, radiation and ultimately cancer treatment finally came to an end.  I knew in my heart I would never forget this experience and believed that God had something in mind for me. 

By the end of May, I picked up the half finished shawl and began to knit again.  After all, I could not rip out this yarn again!  My free days were spent in waiting rooms traveling from one doctor’s office to another.  I worked on the shawl as I waited to see the oncologists, the surgeon, the dermatologist, and all the medical providers involved in my recovery.  One day, as I was waiting and quietly knitting, an elderly woman seated next to her husband asked me what I was making.  I mumbled sheepishly “a shawl, for someone undergoing medical treatment.”  “Really” she said, “My husband and I knit caps for our U.S. military. Isn’t knitting a wonderful ministry?”   I thought to myself, angels really do come in all ages.  

I was determined to begin a shawl ministry at St. Julie. After all, it is a large parish and with so many people, recruiting knitters and identifying recipients would be relatively easy.  Sometime in mid June, I accompanied my Mom to a seniors’ luncheon at St. Julie.  What a great opportunity to “field test” the concept of starting a shawl ministry at the parish.  The idea was well received by the people dining at our table.  

My next step was to approach staff. I spoke with a few staff members about the ministry and they told me to put together a packet for them to review.  We were underway, or so I thought.  Diligently, I assembled everything I knew about the Shawl Ministry, including their website and the book, entitled Knitting Into The Mystery, and gave the packet to staff.  I eagerly awaited a response, but none came.  Needless to say, I was very disappointed and confused by the lack of interest in something so beautiful and something so prayerful.  

Slowly, I continued knitting the first shawl and praying for an answer. 

In early September, I made an appointment to meet with my Spiritual Director, Deacon Mike Kiley, at St. Julie’s.  We are blessed to have Mike at St. Julie’s and I have been honored to have the opportunity to be guided by such a spiritual and holy man.  I told Mike about the Shawl Ministry, my failed attempts to start the ministry at St. Julie, and yet, I still felt called to pursue this journey of prayer.  Mike quietly challenged me, “Cheryl, what is God telling you? Be open to His call.”  Mike encouraged me to begin the Shawl Ministry myself.  I left Mike’s office that day no longer feeling confused or disappointed.  I clearly knew that the Holy Spirit would guide me in this work.  I will always be grateful to God for Mike. 

Shortly after my meeting with Mike, I received an email from Mary Jo Cronin, RN reminding me of the upcoming Health Board Meeting. I am a member of the St. Julie Health Ministry Board.  Due to my breast cancer treatment, I was unable to attend board meetings the previous year.   I replied to Mary Jo’s email stating that I would share the Shawl Ministry with the Board.  Later that same evening, my dear friend, Mary Ann Krajewski, RN telephoned me to talk.  Mary Ann is also a parishioner at St. Julie and I started to tell her about the Shawl Ministry.  Mary Ann proceeded to tell me that she had received a shawl from a group of Healing Touch practitioners.  Healing Touch is a complimentary therapy.  I asked Mary Ann if she would be willing to bring her shawl to the Health Board meeting.  She agreed and from our conversation, I knew that the Shawl Ministry would soon become a reality.  

On September 16, 2004, Dr. Cheryl Scallon, Dr. Kathy Bewley, Mary Jo Cronin, RN, Mary Ann Krajewski, RN and Julie Anazalone, RN, met in prayer as the St. Julie Shawl Ministry began.  The first shawl was completed a few days later and blessed by the Health Ministry Board as we laid hands on the shawl and prayed for its recipient.  By the end of September, two shawls were completed, blessed and distributed.  By the end of October, three more shawls were completed by prayerful knitters, who had grown in number to 20.  By the end of November, twelve shawls were completed, blessed and delivered and there are now over 30 knitters.  

One of the shawls was given to a nine month old baby with retinal cancer.  Her mother also received a shawl.  One shawl was wrapped around Mike on Thanksgiving morning as we thanked God for him. Yesterday, on December 7, 2004, a two year old girl undergoing bone marrow transplant and her parents were blessed in ICU by our ministers. 

The Shawl Ministry is very present at St. Julie Billiart Parish and I thank you, God for Gramma and for blessing my hands to do Your work.